Almost 4 months have passed since MJ was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. We decided to celebrate his 100th day since he has faced his new reality with such a positive, inspiring attitude. He never ceases to amaze us.
July 19th was day 100...unfortunately we couldn't go to the pool due to rain so we had a play date with his best friend Chase and then went as a family to see How to Train Your Dragon 2. It was a great day celebrating and praising our biggest boy.
There are days it is hard for him - and for us - and I'm sure there always will be. When we were in the hospital and they confirmed his diagnosis, I started sobbing...not the silent kind you try to hide, but the loud, can't- breathe-type sobbing. I knew what that meant for the rest of his life -- not a day will go by where he is free from this. He will never be able to run to the pantry, grab a juice box and a fruit snack and eat it without getting a shot of insulin. No play date, field trip, or sleepover will be safe unless someone who has diabetes training is with him. At most birthday parties he will be the only one who will have his blood sugar checked and the slice of cake cut just the right size before he eats it (and gets an insulin shot). From now on, every carb will be counted, every activity closely watched. It is not easy...
And yet it is manageable. We have learned how to make it part of our routine...He wakes up, gets dressed, checks his blood sugar, eats breakfast, gets a shot of insulin, brushes his teeth and so on. It's a new normal.
MJ has asked a lot of thought-provoking questions since his diagnosis...
MJ: Mommy, why did God give me diabetes? Why did he choose me?
Me: That's a good question honey. I can't say for sure but I think it's because he knows you're so brave. Not everyone would be able to handle what your going through but you are so positive and brave that you've done incredible and accepted it with grace.
MJ: Hmmm...I think you're right. God gave me diabetes but he also made me brave.
Me: You got it.
MJ (the day he went back to school after his diagnosis): Mommy, can I give my friends diabetes?
Me: Oh no, honey. This is not something you can give someone else. You were born with it.
MJ: No I wasn't, I didn't have diabetes when I was four or three or two or one. But I have it now that I'm five.
Me: Ok you're right- when you were born there was a part of you called a gene that made it more likely for you to get diabetes and it wasn't activated until now.
MJ: Did that gene make me sick?
Me: No, honey. Please always remember that you are NOT sick. You have a condition (I don't like to call it a disease in front of him) that makes you special. Sometimes if your blood sugar is too high or too low then you can get sick so we just have to watch you closely to make sure it is under control.
MJ: I think we are all doing a good job at that
Me: Me too.
MJ (on his 100th day of diabetes): Mommy, sometimes I wish I was the old MJ. You know, the one without diabetes.
Me (my heart breaking - holding back tears): I know honey. Some days it's going to be hard. But you know, this new MJ is pretty special. I just can't believe how brave and amazing you are. I'm so proud of you.
MJ: Thanks mommy. I love you so much - to infinity and beyond.
Me: I love you too baby- to infinity and beyond.
We had a check up at the end of last month and his diabetes is under excellent control so far. We are blessed.
The night of April 10th, the day you were diagnosed, I read my devotional before going to bed and it said, "we all bear crosses we didn't plan to carry." I knew then that this was your cross to bear. Every day I wish I could take it off of your back and carry it for you, but that is not what's meant to be. I pray you know I'm always there beside you trying to lift this cross so the weight is lighter for you...and I won't let you fall.
Happy 100th day of diabetes, MJ!